Remember that boy in high school that broke my heart? Well actually he broke my heart during winter break my freshman year of college. Anyways, before he broke my naive heart, he was one of my best friends. The one I woke up and told good morning to, if he didnt already beat me. The kid I didnt mind sharing drinks with. The boy that I could tell everything to and then listen to him tell me everything. We didnt have feelings at first, they grew. As we got closer our relationship evolved. We werent friends yet we werent in a relationship. It was this weird in between, and thats what fucked us up. We were really good friends. I had my girl best friend(Jenn) and I had my boy best friend. He made a mistake, and then made a choice. And thats where I left it. No more calls, texts, lunch outings. No more us. The thing that hurt the most is that I guess I loved him, in some sick fucking way he had my heart. It wasnt a love like “I’m in love with you” but a “youre my best friend and you know everything about me and i love you” we did start to move towards that couple-ly vibe, but my love wasnt like that yet. Anyways the only reason that I’m bringing this up is that right now is if he were to randomly contact me, that I would talk to him. I kinda feel like he would know what to do with me right now. Not that my other friends dont, but its just something about his company that would make this better. He would know what to say/not to say. Hold my hand in a comforting way. I kinda miss that piece of shit. And it sucks bc I think I need him right now. And there is no way I can make myself contact him to be like “look i need someone to talk to and youre the only person who comes to mind right now” anyways. I have weird thoughts right now. I really need to get the fuck over the goddamned past.
"Implied Sexual Content"
Get that weak ass shit out of here I want full on dick bumping not the ghost of gay sex past